Excellent write I really liked the flow as well as the structure of this poem. You choice of vocab was very well and thought out, good Job. The only thing I frown upon is the fact that you didn't use puncuation. Puncuation is very important in poetry, it allows the reader to know when to pause/stop reading as well as making the flow better overall.

Overall this was a well written peice of poetry. Good job, keep up the good work.

Peace, Joe