Aspired Homicide

You haven't written ryhming in a while? why not? I love rhyming, it keeps my attention, or maybe i'm too easily entertained.

I liked this, despite its being depressing, or maybe becuase of, those powerful emotions usualy generate great emotional impact for writing.

The idea of having the heart torn out and waiting for death. It makes me think of the aching wripping of a broken heart, it could easily have fit in love lost relationship, as it is in this section i imagine, (and with my immagination it is unpleasant) a heart being wripped from a chest. gruesome.

I liked it very much. it didn't flow perfectly for me, there were a couple spots i had to re-read or adjust the rythm i was reading it to for. but i still loved it. 5/5. great job

I like how this poem sort of felt like a downward spiral as I read it. It escalated with it's own unique style which I thought was nice. The imagery was strong and vivid, and the haste that is provided in it's rhythm is also a great contribution to the poems theme, as if the feelings are "going away fast". I hope that makes sense. Overall I'd say I enjoyed the read.

I liked this poem .. its about the torcher and torment one has put you through,, well to my guess... i liked the fact that you made the third line rhyme every time... made the poem more powerful

Hmm. I think I like your non-rhymingyish ((that should be an official term)) poems better. You just seem more comfortable in expressing yourself in those ones. But..maybe that's just me. I just didn't pick up as much emotion in this one...it seemed....threadbare, i suppose? ((sorry. not trying to be a butt..just honesty. *don't eat meh!*)).

Lonely spirit,
can't you hear it?
Floating in the air.

^^ this was my favorite stanza. the question is nice, because it brings the reader into the poem more.

the rhyme scheme is kinda cool, with the third line rhyming..pretty sweet.

so like i said, not my fave by you, but not bad at all. :)

I really liked this one alot dear. you are very talented and the story you told me about your friend and yourself this sorta kinda reminded me of it. even if its not you know. I have no idea but like at the end about the not caring part. Just made me think of it. I care about you =] even though I just sorta started talking to you.

keep it up.
keep on writing.
love always and forever.