Speak

Divided; a remnant recollection unhinged
^^ Great opening line. Love the use of alliteration with "remnant recollection". The single statement "Divided" immediately drew me in.

An unaided light settled in a stripe silhouette
^^ Love the mid-line rhyme presented with "light/stripe", as well as the use of alliteration with "settled, stripe, silhouette". Another excellent line that keeps me glued in.

The icicle, blank, became the tattooed imprint
^^ A bit mysterious with this one. Makes me, as the reader, want to read into it deeper and find the relation between the words used. Not a bad line at all.

A serpent had hissed; My cursive scribble denied
^^ Not too sure here. Its not a bad line by any means, but it just doesn't seem to fit in as well, mostly because of how mysterious it is. It leaves me kinda lost.

And yesterday's cotton produced hate in my mouth
^^ Odd little reversal here, but I think that adds a nice twist to the poem. Great line, definately stands out. My second favorite line after the "Divided" line.

I slump towards the floor...knees brought to the chest
^^ I'm not too sure here again. Once again, kinda out there. Its not a bad line, just doesn't really lend to the message in my eyes. Makes an excellent closer though.

Overall, not a bad piece. I can relate to it, and once again, its deep enough that one could draw several meanings from it. Nice write, 5/5 from me.

Alright. Wow.
----.
"Divided; a remnant recollection unhinged"
^^^
[To me, this is a bit complicated a sentence to be the beginning - not that it's not good or anything - and it makes the reader kind of back away. Just saying.]

"An unaided light settled in a stripe silhouette"
^^^
[I like the "unaided light"; it sets a nice imagine in the person's mine. And stripe silhouette? It's nice describing, but a bit confusing.]

"The icicle, blank, became the tattooed imprint"
^^^
[But seriously, I REALLY LOVE this line. It's so amazing; an icicle, blank, becoming a tatoo.. amazing, amazing, amazing.]

"A serpent had hissed; My cursive scribble denied"
^^^
[Here, though, I think " a serpent had hissed" is a bit too... mmmm.. personal? It seems that you were describing something and giving the reader images and then jumped to trying to tell them what's happening instead of letting them figure it out? Does that make sense? And. I like the "my cursive scribble denied". Perhaps "scribbled" would sound better, but either way I like it.]

"And yesterday's cotton produced hate in my mouth"
^^^
[A very weird way to put it, but not bad.]

"I slump towards the floor...knees brought to the chest"
^^^
[This poem was going so nicely, and then you, again, tried to tell me what was happening instead of describing it to me. Don't do that; you have great descriptions.]
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It's terrible when your voice becomes stolen, and you become an empty shell, trying to scream but keeping it muffled where nobody could hear as the secrets tear at your self. This is based on the thought of screaming into a shirt, locked in a closet, hiding the pain of the past.
^^^
[I'm going to assume this is part of the poem. If not, I'll critic it anyways. :).

Now. I love this little excerpt. The transition between description and telling a story is brilliant. And I know I said not to do that, but since you put the --- in between them, it makes it amazing. I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but I know what I'm talking about. :).
However, I do not like the last line; again, it's too personal. Let me be locked in the closet by myself imagining what I would imagine.]

Nicely, nicely done.
xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

Wow.. You captured the feeling of bottling up emotions perfectly. It was flawlessly written, and I honestly can't think of one thing to change about it. The title seems to just.. fit.. as well. It was amazing, 5/5

This was really good. You captured the feeling very fell [ at least what you described at the end there.] Well done. You are by far very talented. This piece was full of imagery and word-choice that blew me away. Very well written. 5/5. :]

Kaylee
You have captured this feeling so well....The silent screams that no one hears. The pain we hold inside.

And yesterday's cotton produced hate in a mouth
I slump towards the floor...alone holding my knees

Great job!
Love Cindy