Gorgeous!!!
A great story, rather chilling as well.
The last two line made me shudder!
Im glad your coming out of writers block Elly. I know how frustrating it can be, but this is beautifully penned.
A really great read.
Much love,
Kat x

Well , coming out from teh block is hard !!

but i think you need to work more , ont making it to be more calssical poem
and split it into stanzaz and rhyme it maybe ,
the feelings are exceptional but i think you could express your self with less words

Wow this was a wonderful write! very deep and powerful. i love story formed poems, and this is one of the best. very detailed. you have a great talent in writing never stop. keep up the nice work. job well done. 5/5.

-Ashlei.

This a a haunting poem. It's pretty awesome. I can't see anything wrong with it really. I can empathize with you completely! Keep it up!

Very interesting, at first I was lost, but then readit again with more thought behind it. I really saw the talent flow from the poem. 5/5

Aaron