Note overall for this poem, the repeativeness with this poem is its downfall yet also at the same time gives it a deeper meaning. more emotive and inviting for the reader to divulge into more.

where to begin... second stanza. this was perfect! simply perfect. the last line talking about holding onto my last breath. this line made me stop and just think how would it be with someone or something holding onto my last breath. so it made it more personal.

yet the only question i may feel i think i should bring up is does the person die? last breath it says. yet later on it says i'm alive now. so i am confused. or does the person die in the dream they have yet wants to stay there over their real life??

^ all this just points out this poems greatest feature! differing of opinion and comprehension of the words you have wrote. how we think you intended this poem to be read can't be clearly seen, so we have to think ourselves what it means? what each line personally holds. what is the deeper meaning?? so stunning!

excellent. pure talent. 5/5 David