Battlinng on versing shock therapy

Lost in confusion,
Memories faded don't know what's going on,
Another week another hospital trip,
Another dose of shock therapy,
Goes into me,
Battling on trying to survive this pain,
It gets worse everyday,
Trying to work through it,
Trying to remember everything i can't forget,
Failing deeper falling again,
Wishing i didn't have blurred vision,
Wanting all this to end,
Just want to be better,
So i can help my friends,
Would do anything to be myself again,
Mixing people up,
Kissing someone who's off limits,
Who was just trying to help me break from this,
Down on the floor again,
Such a big mess,
Got to pull myself together,
For got work in a few hours,
Trying to find my mind again,
Crying as i search for answers,
Wanting to know why is this happening to me,
Never asked to be sick,
Never wanted to be so depressed,
Never wanted to get involved in this,
Just want it to be over,
But here i am considered a threat to all,
Including myself and my friends,
Sleepless nights rattle me,
Darkness keeps dragging me in....