Is it true that when my head is spinning
you think that you can express yourself
and you don't think I will remember?
Well I'm sorry
but certain words you say
stick with me like they were bound with cement.
and those which you spoke today will never vanish
will never fade with time,
and will never be forgotten.
I may not be able to think
or act
or even talk coherently
at least right now
but you hit a nerve
and that scar will stay for a while.
For the one thing,
the one thing that you new hurt me more than ever,
destroyed many of my memories,
and the one thing that I could never stand for,
was the one thing which at this moment you decided to share.
Will I be able to even look at you anymore?
Will this change all of the memories which we shared?
You said that you were past all of that,
but apparently you changed your mind
and along with it
you changed my perception of the world.
For you are my everything
and while we are two different people
living in two different worlds
I thought our eyes were in sync.
But apparently
the only thing I knew
was we were different.
And what I learned now
was that we will never agree,
never see eye to eye,
and unfortunately never change.
For while my heart is about to burst at the seams
trying to contain all of the love I have for you
my head keeps hearing your voice over and over again
repeating those words,
forbidden in my vocabulary.
While trying to heal the scars
that each syllable produced.
So I stay,
confused, hurt, and in love
as the rose coloured glasses shatter on the ground.
And the one I see before me
holds the key to my heart
along with a razor to my wrist,
and for once
my fluttering heart is at rest.
For if that's the way you want it,
I know I won't be able to change it
and the only thing I can do
would be to set you free
and allow you to crash
without the padding of my love.
So if the need strikes you,
then don't let me hold you back,
but remember
that in following through with your yearning,
not only will you lose my love,
but my respect will follow suit,
down the swirling drain.
So I hope you only rambled,
and none of this was true,
for my fairy-tales would quickly reverse,
and my respect would grind to a halt,
but if completing this act is what you need,
in order to feel whole,
then by all means,
don't let me stand in your way.
Just ask yourself,
is it worth it?
And if I come in second,
then that's the way it's meant to be.
But if I do come in second,
in second to your longing,
in second to your nostalgia,
then I'm gone.
Gone forever.
And no wishing,
no yearning,
and no reasoning,
will ever be able to bring me back to you.
So make your choice
me?
or your longing
for the one thing
that you know will destroy us?
