An Unforgettable Loss

This was a marvelously written poem, well-deserving of praise. It made my heart-wrench and tears threatened to swell over my eyes. You were able to put in all this emotion and then, without taking away from the poem add in a more specific diction yet only at the end. Because of this, the very beginning of the poem can very well be understood by anyone and then, even more so by anyone who has experienced this loss.

"Has it ever happened to you?"

^I love how you began this poem with a question. It immediately drew me in, and I wanted to read more. The way you put this single line by itself made it stand out and that made it more powerful. The possibilities of the things you could mean, and most of all the pain. The true and bare emotion displayed by the single question is almost like a pause. A pause to allow the audience to completely understand what you mean by the question.

"So lost deep in thought were you ever...
It took you hours long before you realized,
That the water in your eyes are actually tears."

^The first line here was confusing, because it was an unfinished thought even if it ended with three periods. As if you're trailing off, something else grasping you mind. It was a bit confusing and perhaps not as powerful as you may have wanted it. The next two lines were good, slightly cliche but still a good touch.

"A reflection of the sadness from deep within,
A sorrow that's lasted so long, welling up inside you...
You want to cry, scream; do anything that would relieve you of that pain...
And still it continues to hurt, so discreetly and yet obviously."

^This was a great depiction of the feelings and emotion you felt when writing this. The idea and the visuals you were able to explain. It shows the emotion as well as allows the reader to see a clear picture of the suffering and through those actions the real pain. So much it almost seems horrifying. Much like the pain felt after crying too hard.

"You want to break free of the chains holding you back...
However, try hard as you might to escape,
It is all still there:
The sadness,
Turning into ever lasting regret of unspoken words,
Ending in the remembrance of an unforgettable loss. "

^It was powerful. The idea of escape you put into this stanza and then, more emotion as you added in that you can't. The sadness is always there, will always be and won't disappear. Sadness often comes with regret, and all this was very vague and could apply to any such person. It was as if you were mocking us, through the idea of false hope that everyone at one point must have felt. And then with the very last line, you even told us how this applied to you. How the emotion had been felt by you, and what caused it.

This was another great poem. The emotion in the poem was overall excellent and the flow good as well. good job once again.

It took you hours long before you realized,
That the water in your eyes are actually tears.
-- Wow. I don't know why, but I can't get those lines out of my head. :\

I really loved them.

Cayce

Yes its happend to me many times andther is always a way out. dont let the chain hold u down.

Great work i like this one alot