I knew I saw love at first sight
When I saw his gorgeous face
I was deeply in love
And I didn't want this love to go to waste
---makes you think about the one you love so this really helps getting the reader involved in your poem!
His beautiful black hair
And his soft brown eyes
And his smile that
Would make anyone die
---aww it just makes you picture the most gorgeous and cute guy! great description
The way he walks
Or the way he speaks
Makes anyone's heart
Skip a beat
---again great imagery it really helps paint a picture and imagine what you are talking about
I suddenly wanted him in my arms
I wanted to kiss his soft lips
I knew if I did that
I would never forget that kiss
--creates the emotion of desire in the poem which is a very good thing to do it makes the reader want to find out what happens
I wanted to hold his hand
And have long walks at the beach
We would just gaze into each other eyes
And wouldn't speak
---aw the prefect couple kind of thing very cute! so many girls will be able to relate
I wanted to lie on his chest at night outside
And listen to his heart
While we lay and look up
And watch the stars
---again a cute date that every girl would love
I always get scared
Whenever he comes my way
And when he talks to me
I don't know what to say
---very common emotions but you make it work with the words you chose
Maybe someday he'll notice I love him
Maybe he'll actually care for me
But for now I know,
This love is just a fantasy
---great way to end it!
good job with the wording a flow very enjoyable! 5/5 <33