I read this when you asked me to. But, you know my emotional state wasn't very well at that moment. Honestly, i connected with it so much then and i cried some more. but, it's okay. i needed to read this. the crying helped a lot. back to your poem. this was amazing. you are extremely talented. please keep up the great work! hope to see more from you soon! :) 5/5 <3

This was really good. It makes me suuuuper curious as to why they separated. That's the question lingering in my mind and I'm sure along with many other future readers.

Great vocabulary and how you decribed the scene was beautiful.

Five out of five. Perfect.

Wow. Let me just say that I absolutely adored the emotion in this piece. Honestly, it's one of the best lost love poems I've ever read. I love the first line. You really set the scene for an emotional poem. I can definitely feel the passion in the third line. I think another syllable is needed in the fourth line to help the flow, perhaps, "But the path is NOW coming to a quick close." Fifth line, same thing. Perhaps, "as the two are forced to forever let go."

In the first line of the second stanza I would use Her instead of The girl. It makes the reader feel more connected to the character. I'm not totally into the second and third lines. I don't like the use of the word Now in the third, and the flow seems off for me. fourth and fifth are fine.

I'm not really digging the transition from 5 lined stanzas to 4 line stanzas, but I understand it is neccessary to entertain a reader and switch things up in a long poem like this. Try usuing a period after Her i nthe first line, and making the first and second line seperate sentences. A comma in the last line after Everything would be a nice addition.

I'm not so into the first line of the fourth stanza. I thin kit should be "Let go of the delicate touch". The second and third lines are good, btu i nthe last line, Is should be Are and Resides should be reside.

Fifth stanza, don't use elipses (...) after a comma. it just looks tacky. Eliminate one of the punctuation marks. If getting rid of the comma, make the second line, "it is now gone...". I like the last lines of the stanza.

I like the first two lines. They are absolutely perfect, and perhaps the highlight of this poem. The third line is also pretty good, but in the fourth line, change Their to Two. Again, this helps the reader feel more connected. And where connections come in poetry, that's where you get more readers.

Overall, a very nice poem which just needs some minor touch ups. Great job.

~Ash aka Romancing

This poem shows so much emotion and sometimes saying good bye is hard but we all got to do it. whether its goodbye to a family member a or a friend...And even relationship are hard to do...

*tears* *sniff*
such a sad poem and i can relate to it... you expressed what i'm feeling right now.. i can never described how i'm feeling because no words will be able to define it.. but somehow i was able to relate of how u wrote this poem.. great poem! =]

"They walk to the end of the road entitled "Goodbye"
holding hands with a potent grasp,
yearning for just one more second together.
But the path is now coming to a quick close,
as the two are forced to forever let go."

^^ I loved this as an opener. I thought it was really good, because it gave the reader an idea as to what people are feeling right away.

"Unspoken tears slide down her cheek,
as the once vulgar uproar in the distance,
now remains a serene murmur.
From now on her life will change drastically,
for he is no longer with her, no longer in her life."

^^ "as the once vulgar uproar in the distance,
now remains a serene murmur." <--- Those lines are absolutely PERFECT! They just add something that is needed.

"This just doesn't seem legitimate to her.
She never thought this day would come,
that they would have to depart and walk their own ways.
But there's a first for everything, as they say."

^^ I liked this, though I don't like the usage of "legitimate". Maybe it's just me, but it just doesn't sound right to me when I read it. It works, though. & it's only my take.

"The two stop and let go of the delicate touch-
that will no longer linger, for now they are apart.
No more passionate kisses, no more lust,
silence and tears are all that reside."

^^ In the first line, I do not feel as though the - is needed. I think it will work fine without it.

"Illumination that dazzled radiantly everyday
is now gone... forever and has vanished.
All that exists in the night is gloom,
and two shattered hearts that once loved."

^^ Whoa. The first line in this stanza blew me away. It was just so.. pretty. It made me think of glitter and shiny stuff, no joke. Haha.

"The only light in the shadow of goodbye,
is hope that the two will love again.
What they once shared, will never be forgotten.
It is permanently stuck within their hearts."

^^ Aw. How sad. This is so beautiful, though. Because it shows exactly what two lovers feel when they lose each other, in my opinion. I loved it.

Overall; I thought the piece was VERY well written, and you did a wonderful job with your word choices and whatnot. 5/5

``Briana

Amazing poetry. This is by far my favourite of yours. It makes me feel so empty and sad inside. It's so thought-provoking and you use amazing descriptive words, what a perfect choice of vocabulary to bring out the sad message within. Great, great work :)

Sole x

First of all,Ur poem made me cry because it brought painful memories into my mind and heart...It's so touchable from the title to the last word...

They walk to the end of the road entitled "Goodbye"
holding hands with a potent grasp,
yearning for just one more second together.
But the path is now coming to a quick close,
as the two are forced to forever let go.

It's the saddest Imagery I've ever read As Goodbyes are just like roads and moments that we never wish to end. Although they hurt anyway,we just wish to walk on that road till we reach no end...Ur choice of words in this stanza really rocks..

Unspoken tears slide down her cheek,
as the once vulgar uproar in the distance,
now remains a serene murmur.
From now on her life will change drastically,
for he is no longer with her, no longer in her life.

I like how u described what she feels inside and what she is going through and that everything wouldn't be the same...That was so deep..

This just doesn't seem legitimate to her.
She never thought this day would come,
that they would have to depart and walk their own ways.
But there's a first for everything, as they say.

Then U continue what she is thinking about but at the same time She is shocked bcoz it's not what things were supposed to be...So touchable

The two stop and let go of the delicate touch-
that will no longer linger, for now they are apart.
No more passionate kisses, no more lust,
silence and tears are all that reside.

I liked this stanza the most bcoz It's so true...
No more passionate,no more lust(It's how things end...When lovers say goodbye,Sadness is the only feeling that lasts..)

Illumination that dazzled radiantly everyday
is now gone... forever and has vanished.
All that exists in the night is gloom,
and two shattered hearts that once loved.

Well-written piece that expressed the eternal pain..

The only light in the shadow of goodbye,
is hope that the two will love again.
What they once shared, will never be forgotten.
It is permanently stuck within their hearts.

Ur poem is more than awesome...I loved every word U've written...
Great work
Plz keep it up5/5..