Why did he make me feel this way

Why did he hurt me but i still love him and i still want to be with him...but i just don't know if i can see him with all this pain..i think i will just broke down and cry..thats what i do when we talk on the phone...but he doesn't want me to be upset..but now i think he is falling for someone else...i think i lost you for ever....i just write and not cut cause i know i will kill myself if i did..cause it feels like I'm losing everything..i would never lie to you...i sleep alone every night now and i think for along time...why cant you see i love you..but i think you never did you just wanted me for one thing and when you got it...now you are just done with me