I thought you loved me. I thought wrong

You loved me only, or thats at least what I thought.
everything was going perfect till our recently weeks of just us fighting.
I thought it was just a stage, I didn't expect a thing wrong.
I WAS WRONG.

i feel as if its MY fault. That I wasn't good enough for you.
I didn't give you all the love you wanted, or
I didn't say the right words in your need of them.
I tried but only me in your life wasn't enough was it?
you target someone I hold close.
You don't know for sure your feelings for her...but they are there
I honestly am not sure what to think anymore.
I love you and you say you love me too, but you can not have me and her both. That is not how I work.

I don't care if its just a little crush. A crush always leads to something more but yet you deny that every time.
How do you think you got me?
A crush maybe?!
You're MY world but YOUR world is shared between me and my sister.
I'm lost in the depth of everything and just wanna be left alone.

Understand this though...
I wanna be with you but you cant even promise me something that will save us.
whats happening????
what happened to just you and me???
I miss the old you.
I haven't changed at all, you say I'm more depressed but have you ever began to think its because of the things you say to me and I just bottle in?!
Ive bottled those jagged words in for 3 months!!
it explodes like a champagne bottle and you blame me for over reacting!

After what you told me at 3a.m. last night made my heart flame up and burn.
once more I love you with what I have left. I cant help that I'm shattered and burned. My heart is black and forever stained with ash.

You cant take back words you've said and you for sure cant take back what you've engraved in my heart.
"I don't know if I do or not" Those are the words that made me shed tears for the first time that night.
I'll tell you what I do know. I love you but I will not share you and I'm not even going to attempt to!

I bet, you will run back to me when you notice how hurt I am from all of this...
Come to me when you swear you can live without her and deal with just me.
I'm not supposed to hurt over something like this at all. I feel betrayed. We may still be together but I wont ever be able to think just of you anymore. There is another girl in the image of our kindled love.

I'm hurt...I'm not mad. I'm hurting inside and every time I see my sister I feel my heart drop.
That shouldn't happen and defiantly not over her!!!!

You said you want girl-friends but I know now why you want them.You didn't before until you met someone that supposedly completes your feelings.

I thought I helped you and said the right words to knit your heart back together.
I thought wrong.

You don't need my words anymore.
You have somebody else's advice,and I'm stuck here just dealing with this all.

I prepared to say good-bye last night because I honestly do not know how much more I can handle..but
No more tears I'm gonna cry. because I am dehydrated of all the tears I once had.

I'll sit back and take what I can. I'm not worth of any tears now.
I'll be surprised if you can convince me I am worth anything at all.