Remembering Then, Moving On Now.

First off -- I love the emotion behind your words. It shines through.

"I began to think that you liked me back,
but when I asked you if you did, you said no.
I was weakened but that didn't mean quit,
I kept falling, anticipating that you would catch me."

^^ In the third line, I think you should say something like.. "I was weakened, but that doesn't mean I quit.." <--- I think it will sound better when read.

"High school came around before we knew it,
and we seldomly ever crossed paths.
But when we did, you never meant a ounce to me.
The feelings I once had for you faded away."

^^ Again, in the third line -- "a ounce"? It should be "an ounce", because "ounce" starts with a vowel.

Also, I must add I do think the piece would look a little better if you evened up the lines a bit. I mean, because you don't rhyme, it's not as bad when read, but I think lines that are more even would help appearance wise.

I really liked how this piece is.. optimistic, I guess. You talk about how your feelings were so strong for him back then, but you just can't wait around for him to decide he wants to start something with you. Also, I like the last stanza, when you say that you don't want these feelings to come back, because you've moved on. Love that. 5/5

``Briana

Hmm. I'm not sure how I feel about this one. The theme itself was kind of up and down. It was like a young school crush, especially since the beginning of the poem took place before high school. I found it difficult to imagine somebody saying "Not now, maybe later." It's just so... adult-like?

It seemed like the narrator was up and down in their feelings as well, and the theme of the poem was made to seem quite pointless. It was like: before high school, the narrator had a crush on someone, but they weren't interested. They move on [which doesn't mean much, considering everybody seems so young]. The narrator then briefly thinks of this person again, but it doesn't matter, because they've moved on. The narrator then finishes it off by remembering them once more, repeating that they've moved on, and then saying they never hope they have feelings for this person again. =/ WHAT?

I'm sorry, I know I'm probably sounding like a harsh bi.tch, haha. But this poem just didn't really make sense to me very much, and I'm not going to lie about it.

I know you're a good writer, I'm just not a fan of this piece. [Don't hate me. >.<] lol.

Can't say more than this: Great Job done!! 8)

5/5.
=)

Good write... I suppose it was an infatuation... you like someone a lot but over a period of time it fades away...

I loved the last part... it displays so much optimism... one has to move on in life wnhether we like it or not...

wonderful write...

"and had almost the same exact interests"

^^ same and exact almost convy same thing... so i just wondered if using any one would have been sufficient...

"meant a ounce to me"
^^ should it be "an ounce"...

keep writing..

The first four stanzas were amazing. I like the fact that I can feel the truth in your words. The recognition of a crush. The way that someone fall's so hard, but no one's there to catch them.But how in the end you only move on, knwing that life dosen't end with one person. Perfect. And the last four stanzas were equally good. The fact that you can capture sucha raw emotion in writing is spectacular. I always love your writing =)

And maybe for a title;;

Remembering Then; Moving On Now

I know it's not very good, but hey it's a suggestion?