Great poem. I don't see where you need improvement. But if I do, doubt it, I will let you know. Promise.

Ashley Morris

it's ok-doe-kay,umi don't really write constructive criticism,i think they are all good thats for reading one of my poems later.

good one... none wrong wif it ... hope u can visit mine...

I thought that was some great work.... Keep it up... going back to read some more of them
Aaron