This was actually a pretty good start, but you could definatly add more. I think you have the potential.. Your word choice isn't too shabby and the rhyme was pretty consistant I thought. This wasn't a bad poem really, but it needs to be longer in my opinion. Good luck. 4/5.

Funny you should say that i didn't really think it was done i just couldn't think where else to go with it... so if anyone has any advice please share...

Funny you should say that i didn't really think it was done i just couldn't think where else to go with it... so if anyone has any advice please share...