Still Can't Believe You're Gone

Rhymed well, and the flow was never off, well done

Once again... amazing poem
:D
5/5
i loved the ending expecially

"I'm still here, lying awake,
This time right up until dawn.
Wondering what went wrong,
I still can't believe you're gone..."

i loved it!!
(:

-halie

Another lonely night,
That I lay alone in bed.
Thinking of our broken future,
All the lies you once said.
...[ great opening to this poem. it gives the reader an exact idea to what the poem is going to be about. good emotion too. ]...

Every time you walk away,
It leaves another crack in my heart.
So many tears fall from these eyes,
Knowing you weren't mine from the start.
....[ so many people can relate to this. i just love the way you rhymed and fixed up this stanza. ]

You caused me so much pain,
So I finally wished you away.
How could I have known,
I'd miss you more each day?
...[nice emotion expressed. i felt the pain and sadness you expressed in this stanza, just because u explained it so well]...

So sick of all the arguing,
I just wanna see your face.
I know it won't ever happen,
I've already been replaced.
...[this is a heartbreaking line. it makes me feel so sad when i read it. to know that you loved this guy so much & he just replaced you like that]...

I wish you never had to leave,
Why do you have to be so stubborn?
What happened to all the happiness,
All of the love you had sworn?
...[this line questions him. it brings out a little bit of anger from within. (at least thats what i felt when i read it; i felt anger. because i would feel angry too) ]...

I'm still here, lying awake,
This time right up until dawn.
Wondering what went wrong,
I still can't believe you're gone...

[great ending. it leaves a mystery behind...great imagery too. i imagined you on a bed with your eyes wide open, unable to fall asleep because of the questions stuck in your head...]

--Overall, this is a beautiful poem. Great emotion expressed. The rhyming was beautiful, the flow: flawless. There's nothing I would change. This is great, dear.
Continue writing. You're amazing!!
Take care.
--Justina