Untold Love

by haileyy   Jul 29, 2008


One lonely girl
One lonely soul
She's in this alone
Draining the blood right out of her

Trying to speak
But doesn't have a voice
Trying to stay strong
But everything just goes wrong

Afraid of herself
Afraid of the voices
The haunted past
Clutching her every breath

She looks around
No one is there
She saw something
But it's only air

Taking her down
She drowns in the water
The water of tears
The pain of sorrow

Trying to grasp air
Still something surrounds her
Nothing is helping her
Only drowns her

The light above
Reflects onto the water
She sees a face
A face of an unknown

Pulling out a hand
The light tries to help
Still too weak
To grasp the touch

Blackness surrounds her once again
That light she once saw
Stays behind a closed door
So no light can shine through

There she lies
On that floor
Surrounded by the darkness
With no soul

One lonely girl
One lonely soul
Taken from her heart
Is the love untold

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by HvN

    So sad... yet so nicely written... just 1 thing.

    "She looks around
    No one is there
    She saw something
    But it's only air"

    perhaps she should look harder? :p

    gret job hun!

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by xXxRaulXxx

    Excellent piece truely beautiful

  • 16 years ago

    by LadyLk

    Not bad.. keep writing

  • 16 years ago

    by Mister 47

    A bit liong but the lines are quik you dont feel the long poem

    the concetp of the poem is not new , sorrow , but the figures used in it are very good specialy when you say try to grasp the air ,

    and thelast stanza is very good

    the flow of the poem the sadness is verygood writen

    as mucht eh imagery are good i feel like the poem , trun about not new topic , and you need to create a exiting new image and new enviroemtn

    in all it was a very godo writen poem no errors found and rhyming

    great job

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