The Fear Within Of Crying

In my room I sit on the floor, dead center,

Eyes glazed, I can barely breath,

Spots on my knees are covered with blood, mixed with salty water,

Slits on my wrist tell the tale of pain and damage, the tears still slipping down my cheeks to my chin,

The yelling had started again, threats accompanied them,

Often those threats came true, a beating,
slap,
anything,

I run for my life, crashing into walls and diving over tables to flee the pain inflicted on me,

Around the house I sprint, my feet barely touching the ground as I throw open a door and race out into the cold,

A sting enters my feet as my heart beats crazily against my chest,
Legs covering the distance, I find myself in the barn,

Sliding in, a soft nicker comes from a near by friend,

My toes burn from the temperature as I limp over to the stall and let myself in, taking in the comforting smell,

A gentle blow of air covers my tear streaked face, the air tainted with the smell of hay and grain,

A soft soft escapes from my lips, horror crosses my face as tears fall freely down my face and hiccups erupt,

Sinking to my knees in the deep shavings, my body shakes with such hurt and fear,

I lean on a sturdy leg for support on my now terribly weak body,
A shuddering sigh is released as I grab a handful of mane and yank myself back up,

Cradling this large creatures head in my arms,
He reaches around and pulls me into a horsey hug,

My own arms reaching around and holding him close,
My hand finds my cell in my pocket, I stare at it,

Willing you to call, I need to hear that voice,
It doesn't happen,

Slowly I creep back into the house, it is now late and all are asleep,

Racing up the stairs silently, I settle into the middle of the room,

Hands folded and shaking, I stare at the ceiling,

Wondering when a kind soul will take me from the world,

And take me away from this hurt I endure everyday.