Another One
by SIMPLY ME Jul 30, 2008
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Another one of these tears running down my face,another one of these heart ace's,leave me alone right now,i need my space.I'm having another one of these break downs,another one of these frowns.Another one of these days when i just feel down,so please don't come around.i don't want a hug,i don't want a kiss,what i want is to escape all of this. |
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16 years ago
by Raychil
I really liked how deep this was. I think you have a lot to express and you're doing it wisely. My critique is to perhaps space somemore, show the separation so the reader can follow your flow easier. Wonderful piece.
<3Raych.
and thank you so much for all your comments, i promise i'll keep up to date with yours :)
