Losing..

In this house..the music going loud,
Cold chills but i like being all alone,
Irritating phone calls and messages,
Im about to smash this stupid phone!

Annoying thoughts,
Uncomfortable anxious somehow sad,
Thinking over every moment..
About what went wrong, what went bad?

Hm..he walked away from me today..
I didnt text back to him last night,
Strange conversation and questions,
He asked me if im alright..

No im not but i lie anyways,
I dont even know what's wrong,
Sleep deprived? hungry maybe..
Stupid poems and sad songs?

Heart races fast..anxiety comes unknown,
Hands shake and thoughts begin,
Is this what you call love?
Hm no..i can just never win..

I think i need to cry..
I need to write and write..
I need to tuck up into bed..
And let my tears stream free tonight,

Is this the beginning of me hating you?
Are we nearly finished? gone?
Was it something i said or thought?
Is it my fault this is going wrong?

I hear the wind..
I hear the rain..
I pull the curtains back and see the stars,
My heart dredged within pain

What is this feeling of confusion?
What is this feeling of being lonely?
Just the other day i loved you so much,
You were my only one and only...

Is this just another dead relationship?
For everything comes at a cost..
Crazy how much changes..
How much im feeling lost..