Comments : Almost

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "I almost learn to write
    Write your name in my mind
    I almost dream a dream
    Dreamt my princess this night"

    "learn" and "dream" should have an "ed" added on to the end, that way it will make sense when people read it.

    "I almost watch a falling star
    A star, One wish came true
    I almost cried out loud
    Worth for my tears is you"

    "watch" should be "watched".
    Great rhyming, simple yet so deep.

    "I almost spent my time
    Watching the clouds go by
    I almost fade away
    Cast far within a mile"

    "fade" should be "faded".
    Nice wording here too, really grabs my attention, and throughout this piece you have me intrigued.

    "I almost spoke words
    Repeated words for you
    I almost die today
    For saying I LOVE YOU"

    "die" should be "died".
    Cute ending, I can tell you wrote this straight from your heart, I really like it. 4/5 from me, take care...

  • 12 years ago

    by Lofallenve

    I liked the rhythm of this poem. Flowed very well. Another great piece.

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Great concept here, again. But change the grammatical errors. Other than that, this is a lovely write. I like the capitalization of i love you in the end, shows you really mean it.

    -X

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenn

    Some grammar error's, but hey I have a lot of typo's in my when I first post them. lol

    I like the flow of this poem, and I envy how you brought your raw emotion of love out in this piece.
    I myself have a hard time writing love poems, so I can't really help with any advice on improving.
    Sorry, I do love it though. Very beautiful.

    Jenn

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    I found this one really cute and warm, I love the ending the most. I also agree with above, it should be in past tense because you almost did that but you didn't. I almost wrote that it was written perfectly but when I thought about it, it really should be in past tense. Other than that, I love this piece, I find it cute.

  • 12 years ago

    by Max

    This is cool except some grammar mistakes
    and something like
    "Dreamt my princess this night"
    Dreamt should be Dreamed
    and you should add 'of' between Dreamed and my
    would make more sense like that

    well other than that u did good job
    the flow is good and the word choice is fitting gr8
    but too many grammar mistakes to give u 5/5
    so i think 4/5 would be fair