We're Running in Complete Circles, But With You I Never Dizzy

by BrokenREALiTy   Aug 1, 2008


Trace rings around my scrawny fingers, and kiss them with our future,
for your lovely whispers bless my lips with wistful morrows,
allowing heaven's dance to daze our sheets in warmth.

A cup of coffee forever bathes away the ephemeral nights,
as one last hug survives the brightness of another day without you.

And passes by are twelve, sometimes fourteen or even more hours,
before I'm allowed to head off into the arms of my sweet angel,
inhaling nature's most invigorating bouquet of brilliance.

I never believed in the foundation of marriage--never saw the point,
but the idea of being entwined with you on papers doesn't sound so bad.

Besides, waking up to the illumination of your cozy, feathered blues,
and what I sometimes believe to be a haystack laying upon your head,
--I don't really seem to mind as long as it's all a part of you.

So I'll greet your cute little snorts each day, as light peeks through the drapes,
happily gazing into the hazy chocolate browns as they peer beneath the lashes:

"Good morning, my dear snapdragon, did I snore again last night?"

©20080730 Mindy Huang

*Important Note: It may be a tad confusing, but I wrote this piece with a mixed view. It switches off in different places from the man to the woman, but I won't tell you when because quite frankly, I find most of the verses to work from either point of view. :)

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Title - It's reallllly long, maybe you could shorten it up? And, I should be I'm, by the way. Maybe you didn't have room for it. Shorten the title. I think if I read the poem I'm going to get the point anyways.

    "Trace rings around my scrawny fingers, and kiss them with our future,"
    `Kiss them with our future - that was beautiful and a unique way to write it.

    Overall, yes... I must say this poem was alittle confusing. Something about loving someone and wanting to marry them or something? Like you thought it wasn't a good thing but then it didn't sound so bad. Then something switched to like waking up to them every morning and yadeyada. Then you switched to his point of view and it was him waking up and asking you if he snore during the night.. Lol. This write definatly made you think though. It was beautiful though for the most part. All I would say for this one is make your title shorter.. it doesn't have to be that long. Although, you do come up with some pretty unique titles.. I think you could shorten it.. because basically all your titles are sentences and I don't think they have to be that long. Other than that, interesting write. You definatly had to infer in this one. I love how you switched points of view here from the girl to the guy, but it did get a bit confusing! Good job -howeverr.<33 5/5

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