I'm very impressed with this I see nothing wrng with it, the rhyming is very good and it flows very well

5/fav

Wow. This was really dark and deep. I think that you did a fabulous job. I loved the lyrics you used for my contest in this poem, they fit the poem so perfectly. The repetition, I didn't really like. But it worked alright considering there was a rhyme to the poem which helped. Well written. 5/5