Raindrop

by HiddenPoet   Aug 3, 2008


Falling, falling, falling
A lone drop of water
On its long journey down
To quench the Earth's thirst

Down, down, down
It travels in solitude
Over hills and valleys,
Mountains and plateaus

Closer, closer, closer
To the ground, it drops
Finally touching the parched soil,
Leaving many more to follow

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by TravisInABottle

    The repitition in this piece is much better than the other. A good example of proper repitition.

    I'm really not a fan of nature poetry, but I didn't have a hard time trying to keep reading this, so kuddos to you.

    I thought the first stanza was great. I love the line, "To quench the Earth's thirst". Really nice.

    I didn't like the last line of the last stanza. I'm not sure why, it just didn't sound right to me. You're saying that the drop is leading, but then you also say that the others are following. I guess you're stating the same thing and it seems unnecessary. Try restating it somehow. Simply changing 'leading' to 'leaving' makes it sound better in my mind. Just a suggestion, though. : )

    Again, punctuation at the endings of your lines would make it better.

    My honest critique: 4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by january friend

    A great description of something so simple.

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