I think its quite nice ;) That first bit doesnt do the rest much justice though, in my opinion.

Amazing stuff here, excellent ryme!

Every line pulls the reader more indepth with the poem, keeping them wanting more and more. you started off great and ended fantasticly!

5/5

Usually, I don't like AABB rhyme scheme, but here it was good on some places, but in the others, rhymes felt a bit overused and forced, like light/night or quick/sick. The rest of the rhymes are nice. I don't want to offend you, this is just my personal opinion.

Anyway, the rhyme scheme is minor here comparing to the whole concept of the poem, which , I think, is really good. I can see that you were inspired by the verse from a song, yet you managed to bring that inspiration to another level and create truly powerful piece of poetry. Your words brought me to completely different world and I could get lost in it, in all those emotions that you described. I like the whole atmosphere of the poem, along with effective, vivid imagery that you portrayed within every stanza. This is, overall, truly an enjoyable read.

- We realize that we are two of a kind, so we breathe as one.
We can take on this world until our final day has been done.-
^^^
I love this part, it caught my attention and pulled me deeply into the poem. Greatly written.

- They say we're supposed to feel at home, but this is a war-zone.-
^^^
Powerful, too, and truly intense.

Keep up!

What a deep and meaningful poem this is!

"Everything pauses as our love moves faster than light.
Nothing will ever hold us back, whether it is day or night."

^Such sweet words, very touching......

You really grabbed my attention in this poem and it was such an enjoyable write. Good work. Keep writing, always and forever.......

We realize that we are two of a kind, so we breathe as one.
`What an amazing opening line. It's so simple, and yet so stunning and unique. The essence and the beauty behind it is just ... wow. I get such a radiant image in my mind just from that single line.

Your first stanza, you start out great, but I don't fancy the rhyme light/night. It's too common, and it was there that I felt like it's there only because you couldn't think of anything else that would fit. I find that that happens several times throughout the piece. At times, it's good, but at times the rhyme just seems ... awkward.

They say we're supposed to feel at home, but this is a war-zone.
`Powerful words. It's how many people feel about life. I don't know about adults, but for sure many teenagers feel this way.

The whole piece overall created great imagery, and the concept behind it is just amazingly portrayed.

Aside from a few of your rhymes, quite frankly, I saw nothing wrong with it.
..__MiNDYY

I enjoyed reading this piece because it reminds me of my Fiancee and I, we're always there for eachother no matter and as long as we have eachother we'll be okay. "I cannot do this without you by my side, so I won't ever let go." Definately how I feel and these words were very strong. Excellent poem, great flow and word choice 5/5 GG23

"We'll fight until our final day, and ignore people who cannot trust.
The only thing we need to survive is each other, that's a must."
`These were my favorite lines throughout the entire poem!

Anyways, besides that.. I really enjoyed this poem. Some parts were just so amazingly written. Uhm, the rhyme and flow of the poem was so smooth, which made the poem even that much more enjoyable! Not a thing I'd change with this, it's flawless. That's why it won third place for my contest. There was nothing wrong wtih it that I could see with my eyes. :] I really loved the title too, that captured my attention. The lyrics you used fit amazingly as well. Perfect. 5/5.

Great job!! i really like it! its so moving and has so much feeling!!