A Never-Ending Dream.

Uhm even it dose not rhym, i cna say i enjoyed that one pretty much ,

and who can not get those words
This never-ending dream of being with you forever,

that line , is my never ending wish,

great one

First of all, Wow, this poem was very passionate and emotional. I truly loved it. The title caught my eye "A never ending dream" good title choice. Now.. on to the comment.

"Yearning for that delicate touch of your fingertips-
across my tender skin so sweetly and passionately.
The taste of your candy-like lips linger against mine,
together in your arms, holding me tightly, is what I desire."

This was very descriptive, really gives the readers a clear picture as to what exactly is happening. A scene plays inside my mind and I can actually see this happening.

"Your fingers intertwined with mine; a potent grasp.
Our bodies so close together producing comfort and warmth,
your heart beating against mine - pitter patter, pitter patter.
The kind of love that is everlasting and romantic."

I like that your adding sound and touch to this, gives the poem humanity. "Warmth", "Comfort" good words to use, this gave me the feeling of being with someone, visualizing being with a person you love. And adding sounds "Pitter patter, pitter patter" as I said giving the poem humanity.

"This never-ending dream of being with you forever,
is becoming permanently plastered in my mind.
Feelings for you continue to build up quickly,
as I yearn for that one moment with you-
that will convince you that I am worthwhile. "

I can truly relate to this, wanting to be with the person I love forever, and I'm sure many others can relate to this as well, which makes this a very good read. I loved this poem and I give it a 5/5 great job keep it up.
;)

Yearning for that delicate touch of your fingertips-
across my tender skin so sweetly and passionately.
The taste of your candy-like lips linger against mine,
together in your arms, holding me tightly, is what I desire.

~~~A bit cliche at first, but the main thing is that I can tell it's from the heart; I can feel the yearning, but I don't understand the reason you put a dash after the word "fingertips"~~~

Your fingers intertwined with mine; a potent grasp.
Our bodies so close together producing comfort and warmth,
your heart beating against mine - pitter patter, pitter patter.
The kind of love that is everlasting and romantic.

~~~"A Potent Grasp" wow, I really love that phrase.... it says so much. Unique and lovely. You are to be commended for that creation =]
The pitter patter part was kind of mushy and over-sentimental, and it just didn't click with me, but whatever makes you happy is fine with me =]
Don't we all wish for everlasting love? I wish it were that easy....~~~

This never-ending dream of being with you forever,
is becoming permanently plastered in my mind.
Feelings for you continue to build up quickly,
as I yearn for that one moment with you-
that will convince you that I am worthwhile.

The last verse kinda sealed the deal that this is a pretty good poem. The concept of convincing someone to take time out of their life for you is the most difficult part of ... seducing someone's heart.

Overall, I did like this poem. It's how I'm feeling now, and then again, not how I'm feeling since my feeling is more sad, but I did like the poem. No errors, short and to the point, you did a wonderful job at presenting love in its most innocent hopefulness.

Great job,

5/5

~Stephen White

I felt a lot of emotions in this one. I loved the way you worded it, it was perfect!

"your heart beating against mine - pitter patter, pitter patter.
The kind of love that is everlasting and romantic."
^^^ these were my favorite lines for sure.

I liked the way you ended it, it closed it very nicely. Every poem I read of yours just keeps getting better. 5/5

Caitlin =]

I really did feel the emotion from start to finish. But the emotion became greater and greater. Even though the poem is short, I felt the emotion over flowing by the end.
Throughout the whole poem I was visioning a scene. I really love a poem when I feel like I visulive it.

Yearning for that delicate touch of your fingertips-
across my tender skin so sweetly and passionately.
The taste of your candy-like lips linger against mine,
together in your arms, holding me tightly, is what I desire.
^
I really love the way how you started it. You were discriptive so the reader was gripped from the begining. But it also felt real (I don't know how to explain it)

Your fingers intertwined with mine; a potent grasp.
Our bodies so close together producing comfort and warmth,
your heart beating against mine - pitter patter, pitter patter.
The kind of love that is everlasting and romantic.
^ I love how much power and emotion you put into your work. The reader can really feel the emotion.

This never-ending dream of being with you forever,
is becoming permanently plastered in my mind.
Feelings for you continue to build up quickly,
as I yearn for that one moment with you-
that will convince you that I am worthwhile.
^
i love the way you ended the poem. I feel that many people (if not all people) can relate to it.