ONCE AGAIN

All I confided in you so far have been thrown right back in my face. Living on the edge makes for a quick drop off the face of the earth. Yup yup, So the attraction and intrigue were there. As horrid as I am. As I can be. As I have been. All this brought on a more intense respect for my body. You are oddly quiet. Non verbal. Blank. I keep a safe distance from all. No one really wants the intellect. They want the bike. The conquest. Just sex. Arms painted with demons are actually a sign of strength. Determination. An absolute respect for me. No one can love me. I am strange. Distant. Weary. You are young with so many ladies to come. Just understand. What I may wanted was not wanting me. No giddy school girl infatuation. Just a lady shocked by her own weakness. Feeling so used. Now my only release are the words I write. Words to fix. Words to mend ME. Just Disappointment, and a reason to bleed. But coming so far as I have. Is vermilion flow what I really need?