Sorrow Glistens in Darkened Eyes

I love the word choices that you have put into this poem. Just the way you have described things really gives the reader a clear image of what you are talking about.
I also like the way you have used proes instead of rhyme, its a nice break from the usuall.

My favorite lines are:
You're just like the other monsters that walk upon this ground,
Whispering truths that affection will soon prove false.

Well Written
sorry for the wait
Darkcrystalbtrfy

First of all i love the tittle of this poem, i was interested before i even started reading!
As for the poem it was very goog, the emtion depicted was brilliant, you created a dark atmosphere with your words!
Excellent job, your quite talented =]

Wow. your very talented!! i envy youu!

The first things that stood out to me here was your flow was FLAWLESS!

1st Stanza.
"Streets of fallen stars" This was an amazing way to start the piece because it captured my attention and I could see what you were expressing me wanting me to read more and see where it would take me. The meaning here blow me away and the imagery you described was easy for me to imagine.

"wrists begin to bleed and hearts begin to fill with tar"
^Wow. Just love how you worded this.

2nd Stanza.
"A friend will decide to leave and a lover settles for another heart to capture"
^This truly touched my heart. WOW. Its so true! I've felt both, a betrayal by a close friend whom I trusted with everything and the person I loved not returning the favor. The truth here just blew me away and you worded it so beautifully.

3rd Stanza.
I loved your use of the word "monster" here. It created the image of something that destroys without caring about who or what it hurts in the way. Perfect way to express yourself with this one word making this stanza flawless and beautiful.

"Whispering truths that affection will soon prove false."
^This sounded so good when I read it out loud and it was refreshing to see because it was so different from what I usually read on here.

4th Stanza.
I loved the glimmer of hope at the end. It shows that something can be deeply corrupted but still can be reinvented into something more beautiful then it was before. I hope I anazlyed your meaning right but thats what I took from it.

Well done. You truly took this title and made it your own with your unique twist. I enjoyed this meaningful poem from beginning to end.

*5/5*

"A silent voyeur that lingers through the streets of fallen stars,
With only unlit eyes to survey the damaged sheets of society--
Watch as these wrists begin to bleed and hearts begin to fill with tar,
Because only then will you truly see the depth of earth's beauty."

^^ I loved this. Especially the third line. Most of the time, when people write about bleeding wrists, it's really not that great, and it's cliche. But you've written in such a way that made it stand out as something unique. Beautiful.

"As this life runs through the broken roads of threadbare chapters,
Observe this hand that drops tiny trickles of bloodshed upon your lips.
A friend will decide to leave and a lover settles for another heart to capture,
Whilst a dying witness listens to the hum of humanity as it rips."

^^ Gosh. This is beautiful. Your word choice is fabulous. I love the way you word things -- you use very good words, but the meaning is so simple to understand.

"You're just like the other monsters that walk upon this ground,
Whispering truths that affection will soon prove false.
But unlike the fiend in which lies in me, your words are bound,
So I'll giggle as I view your lungs begin to grind against your pulse."

^^ and once again - beautiful. The only thing I noticed in this stanza is the rhyming of "pulse" & "false".

"Though either way, my sight may be corrupted by acidic navigation,
And certainly, emotion ceases to exist in this sorry state of mind.
I assure you that within these darkened eyes, not all is lost in dire fixation;
For even the slightest hint of sorrow must be enough to redefine:

The true meaning behind remaining human."

^^ This was a beautiful way to end this piece. I thought it brought the poem to a wonderful close, as it brought everything together with the last line.

Overall; this is amazingly written. You've done an outstanding job.

Five out of five.

``Briana