Just that guy

by katie   Aug 4, 2008


He was a guy so sweet and kind we were friends and than he became my life,world..

i met you and now your gone a cloud in the sunset of my dreams.
never to be seen again in the sky
with the birds to live and love again.
but for me it is hard and i will be OK
but i will have sorrow till the day i meet you again.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Conrad

    This is well done, although a little run-on-ish.

  • 16 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Katie,

    I love the imagery that you have created here, using nature to describe your intense emotions for this man.

    My only advice at this point would be to add structure to this piece. I have written a peice like this and one comment I had was that it read like a paragraph out of a book. Poetry, typically has structure, readers expect it. I suggest you read other works on here and attempt to use your great metaphors and emotions within a structured format. There are so many to choose from, you will be spoilt for choice!

    Well done. 5/5 for imagery and emotional content!

    Michael

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