Katie,

I love the imagery that you have created here, using nature to describe your intense emotions for this man.

My only advice at this point would be to add structure to this piece. I have written a peice like this and one comment I had was that it read like a paragraph out of a book. Poetry, typically has structure, readers expect it. I suggest you read other works on here and attempt to use your great metaphors and emotions within a structured format. There are so many to choose from, you will be spoilt for choice!

Well done. 5/5 for imagery and emotional content!

Michael

This is well done, although a little run-on-ish.