For a short little thing it has a lot of emotion but I think that you can express it better. The words you chose are a little cliche, a little overused. For future, I'd say explore with a new set of vocabulary. Perhaps look up dictionary.com 's 'word of the day' and try and use that in a poem? I'm sure if you gradually introduce more descriptive words you won't lose any of that emotion either.

This poem is good. The emotion being the clear standout of the pice. The length is also very suited to the poem, any longer and it would have dragged on, any shorter and it wouldn't have been enough. 4/5, keep writing :)

jess ~