Comatose

I really like this poem. It's really emotional and sad. what I got from it is someone is in a coma, but also the person who loves them and is waiting for them seems to be in a coma also. "Now you be strong for me", "I won't leave you no matter what they say"
Those lines seem to kind of suggest to me that the person is sort of in a (not sure how to word what I'm trying to say) sort of like a love coma. Like a coma of love and hope that won't let them leave. Which I think is very sweet and shows so much emotion and Love.

"and be rescued from my comatose" is a little odd cause i dont know if you mean the person in the coma is like "one day i'll wake up and be rescued from my comatose" with some other stuff breaking it up, or "one day i'll wake up and you'll see and then be rescued from my comatose". anyone can guess what you mean but it might be better to make it a little clearer. i love the idea of it, and the beginning, only thing is "they" tell you that the person can hear you, cause they can. still, great, really original poem :)

Wow. this was amazingly good. word choice was excellent, you expressed it greatly. and it was very good with the emotions. great job!5/5
**harlea

This was an okay poem, I guess it wasn't that extremely fabulous or anything, but it was a good write, none the less. I didn't really see anything wrong with it. The format you used really helped it flow along really quick. Nice job. 5/5.

Well...what to comment... I was kind of wondering the short lines... But anyways... When I read on....I found the story had some ideas. Maybe the poems needs a little bit editing...more rhytmn...

Some lines were nice. I like this:
"But I am stuck
Inside this body,
It's like a dream,
But it's not ending."

Nice poem. Keep on writing. :)