Saturday Night In (Dinner Party)

Being greeted by a smile,
Rather than a Neolithic grunt.

A cultured mellowed atmosphere,
In which you are able to hear your companions.

Having the comfort and protection of your own home, or someone else's.
Knowing your bed is nearby.

Not carrying lots of cash,
Which you fear will be lost or stolen.

Being able to dress well and smartly
And not having to fear getting mugged or having you clothes ruined.

The meal is free, unless you are the host,
But a bottle of wine is gratefully accepted.

Where people are civilised
And actually hold a conversation within their depths.

Talking about something other than football or sex.
Which means you can actually get engrossed in a conversation.

Feeling comfortable to use words longer than six letters,
Without being stared at or being called a 'toff'.

Where a swear word is used as a rare expression,
Not as common vocabulary.

Being able to sit hand in hand with your partner,
Without being jeered at.

Your own choice of music, played at your own volume,
Rather than giving you ringing in the ears while you try to sleep.

Actually getting your moneys worth of alcohol,
And having a varied, wide choice of drinks available if you wished.

Being able to taste your drink,
And not having to keep an eye on it for fear of it being spiked.

Drinking in moderation and still enjoying oneself,
Exchanging memories not dirty looks.

Smoking is done politely and considerately, or even not at all.
Not blown in your face or being put out on your overcoat.

Having clean, fresh toilets without urine on the floor.
And not having someone sell you toiletries while you wash your hands.

Not having ridiculously overspent and not remembering what on.
But having spent only on what one needs.

Going home knowing your dinner will stay down,
And won't repeat on you.

Travelling home quietly with a smile on your face,
Not kebab sauce.

And if you see the police they will smile and talk,
Not look upon you as a nuisance.