Comments : Misled

  • 16 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Another great poem from you :O)

    There is no reason
    For your rhyme
    Constant chaos
    Wasted time

    ^ I like the twist on 'rhyme or reason' familiar, yet uniquely different. I like the apathy and frustration in this stanza too.

    Dripping, drowning
    Stepping in
    Underneath your
    Liquid skin

    ^This is has great imagery - like fluid, blood perhaps, and stepping under a person skin, well that is so vivid, I can actually visulise skin stretched to an extreme that is repulsive...but then its liquid skin, so maybe the skin is so skin that the flesh and blood beneath is visible, accessable?

    No ones words
    Can help a mind
    Whose heart is deaf
    And faith is blind
    ^Some people are beyond help, this could be about such a person. Much of the healing process is belief. Faith in ones self and in others is vital if a full recovery is to be attained. I like how you described this person as having a deaf heart and blind faith...very apt!

    Clouded senses
    Wanton needs
    The very place where
    Heartache breeds

    ^I can feel the pain, its been long and enduring. Their lack of strength has sapped others and the emotional turmoil of efforts in vain have caused (bred) heartache.

    Masquerading
    Fake as real
    Won't give you
    What you want to feel

    ^A nice finish here, a moral, if you like!
    Be true to yourself and onto others. Respect breeds respect and all the rewards that come with it!

    Well done

    Michael

  • 16 years ago

    by Sourav

    Overall it's a good poem with intense writing.
    'Clouded senses
    Wanton needs
    The very place where
    Heartache breeds'

    This stanza is very good. It holds so much of pain and anguish. I also liked the format of the poem. Good work!