Wow!! u flow ur heart nate and see where u got.. u found her.. thatz awesome =) nice job.. =)

Thats a really cute poem. makes yougo "awe"

=] nice job

~tia

Awww cute . i love it baby! i love you too

That was pretty cool. Liek the treaure being her. And how you described some things.

I found you have spelled wrong "dieing
". I think you meant "dying"?

Another mistake "befor"=> "before"
And one more... "untill" => until
"ultimite" => "ultimate"
"threw" => through

One sentence I don't really understand is "he continues on letting his heart push him "... Maybe you could help me to understand it?

I hope you did not mind I point out the mistakes I found. English is not my mother language but I wanted to help.

The poem was lovely. It is very sweet to think girl as a treasure. I like the poem.

My advice for next writings is pay more attention to structure of poem. Structure is like the frame of the photo.

Keep on writing! :)

Nice flow
truly wonderful keep it up (^_^) 5/5

Makes me jealous<3