Stay with me

Oh no, that was so sad. i really really loved this poem, i think its one of the best poems i have read for many many weeks now.

i like the different ages as the story went on. and i like the description that added to each age ie, the maths paper, the coloured crayon scribbles. that worked so well, you have alot of talent and it shows within this poem.

thanks for sharing a poem that will never be forgotton. no room for improvement here, 5/5 xxx

Wow. I was smiling at the beginning, and I was thinking to myself, "Why is this poem in the sad section?" Then I got to the last two stanzas, and my blood ran cold for a second. I'm assuming, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that this was written from a sister's point of view. I myself have five sisters, so I understand the bond you hint at throughout this piece. I found it funny, not in the ha-ha way, that the narrator responded to her sister each time in a loving fashion, but when the narrator begged her sister to stay with her, she responded by dying. It was a very powerful write. Beautiful. 5/5

This was an incredible write. the sadness jumped out at me in each and every line of your poem.
i love the way you wrote about the different stages of live as we grow older. Friendship starts off, being sweet and innocent, and in the end, as we age, it can be a killer.

Once, when you were five
You made me a card
Scribbled with a green crayon
On coloured paper.
It said 'you are my best friend.'
And I replied with a hug.

^^ this was fantastic. You write of a childs view on friendship in a very nice way. it made me think about my childhood.

Once, when you were ten
You sent me a txt
On your first phone.
It said 'i luv u.'
And I replied with a row of xs.

^^ ahh, dont we all remember those days, when we got our first phones, and the language of texting took over. well done.
Once, when you were fourteen
You passed me a note
Written in blue biro
On a piece of math grid paper.
It said 'you make math interesting.'
And I replied with 'x = ab (pd x q)'

^^ this is very cute, flirtatious? nice.
Once, when you were fifteen
I found a message written in blood
On a mirror
Beside you on the floor.
It said 'i'm sorry you can't love me'
And I replied with an ambulance ride.

^^ the pain of friendship takes over sometimes, and you wrote about that very nicely.

Then, as you were almost to be no age at all
I whispered in a croaky voice
'stay with me'
And you replied with a long beep
And a flat green line

^^ harsh, but a great ending to a great poem.

Well done.
5/5

Really interesting, it kept me entertained the whole way through.
I liked it alot.
Sad yet so beautiful.
5/5

Woww...and i mean WOWWW!! this is so unique...its not like other poems..This is beautifully wriiten..it truly is awesome! i love it heaps! great work! 5/5