Unleashed {Contest}

by BREEawNUHH   Aug 10, 2008


I know that this is true love,
that's all it could ever be.
Friends since we were kids,
I'm glad that we finally see.

I've loved you for a very long time,
and this is something that won't fade.
The butterflies you give me inside,
are something I would never trade.

You've taken me by the heart,
and held it gently in your hands.
I refuse to let us ever be apart,
so I'd walk a thousand lands.

Every kiss is just like the first,
soft and sweet; time stands still.
Until the day I'm no longer alive,
you're the one to give my heart it's fill.

Having the world in my control,
means nothing without you.
You're the reason my heart beats,
without you, I don't know what I'd do.

Friends since we were small children,
and this love has never decreased.
I cannot turn my back now,
for our love has been unleashed.

Briana Coulter
08.10.08

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Spoken Silence

    This was a good love poem, you described all the typical emotions that someone would feel once they are in love.

    "Friends since we were kids,
    I'm glad that we finally see."

    This was sweet, a good start to this love story, a seemingly happy ever after, someone you've known and trusted for so many years finally fall in love.

    "and this is something that won't fade.
    The butterflies you give me inside,
    are something I would never trade."

    Ahhh, butterflies, I liked how you added this, there is no greater description of love, or the feeling you get from it than butterflies. A sweet fluttery feeling, so simple yet strong.

    "Every kiss is just like the first,
    soft and sweet; time stands still.
    Until the day I'm no longer alive,
    you're the one to give my heart it's fill."

    Such strong emotion and passion, a true lovers poet could describe this perfectly just as you did. Great work.

    "Friends since we were small children,
    and this love has never decreased.
    I cannot turn my back now,
    for our love has been unleashed."

    I like how you ended it just as how you started it, not exactly the same wording but exactly the same meaning to round off the poem and to finish it off. Great work

  • 16 years ago

    by Sole

    Loved the simple words and ideas used in this poem, they made it seem so much like it was straight from the heart, and even if it wasnt, surely that's the mark of an excellently written poem?
    I loved the way the title was the last word as well, it made the ending so perfect and really easily rounded everything off, endings are something I often struggle with and so I can appreciate this one increasingly more.
    Finally, the rhymes flowed well and without any sort of force.
    Another great piece from you, Sole x

  • 16 years ago

    by HvN

    Amazing piece of work here, very nice vivid details. My favorite stanza would be:

    Every kiss is just like the first,
    soft and sweet; time stands still.
    Until the day I'm no longer alive,
    you're the one to give my heart it's fill.

    you've done so well, no flaws here!
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    This was absolutely an adorable poem, and it had a great rhythm along with it.. which made it sound great. It's really great to have that person that you've been friends with almost all your life and now you have basically given them your heart and love could possibly be developing. It's a beautiful write. 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I feel this is written from the heart. The rhythm and rhyme is also icing on the cake
    that makes the poem even sweeter

    5/5