The beauty of nature

by xXUnKnOwNXx   Aug 10, 2008


Rushing ,splashing as the the wind blows
the waves making all kind of shows
lightning brightens the sky all around
as thunder screams in its loudest sound
rain pouring down ,filling up the streets
people rushing back to their delectable suites...

As the rains starts to slowly stop
lightning and thunder are gone in a pop
the distant color of the sun appears
slowly the sky starts to clear
the clouds are gracefully moving away
to give the anxious sun its way.....

red , orange , yellow , green , blue ,
indigo and violet...a beautiful view
of the rainbow appearing up in the sky
staring at it makes you want to fly
the view gives you an unnerving feeling
to sit and watch the colors slowly revealing...

Golden rays cut through the clouds
gathered around the sun in crowds
and as its time for the sun to set
more breathtaking colors start to sweat
the peacefulness makes you sit and stare
this beauty can't be made , not even by a millionaire...

0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Rushing,splashing as the the wind blows
    the waves making all kind of shows"

    ^Just to make it easier to read, put a space after the "g" and before the comma....

    "lightning brightens the sky all around
    as thunder screams in its loudest sound
    rain pouring down,filling up the streets
    people rushing back to their delectable suites..."

    ^That was my favorite part, great rhyming and word choice. You definetly painted a picture in my mind!

    "the distant color of the sun appear
    slowly,the sky starts to clear
    the clouds are gracefully moving away
    to give the anxious sun its way....."

    appear should be appears...
    and fix the comma thing too and in any other places you need to fix it in throughout the poem....

    "the beauty,the wonder makes you feel
    to sit and watch the colors slowly reveal..."

    ^That part didn't make that much sense together. Try changing the first line so it connects with the second....

    Golden rays cut through the clouds
    gathered around the sun in crowds
    and as its time for the sun to set
    more breathtaking colors start to sweat"

    ^Very vivid imagery here, I liked this a lot!

    "the peacefulness makes you sit and stare
    this beauty cant be made, not even by a millionaire... "

    ^cant should be can't....
    The ending was okay, not the best though....

    Overall, you did a good job with this poem. It has tons of potential but just fix the errors I pointed out. 4/5