As I choke

I lie face down
Screaming
At my stupidity again

A contemplating frown
Showing
Throwing down my pen

I am choking harder
Severely
Discomforted by your back

Yet getting smarter
Daily
No more a heart attack

My soul wants no more
Love
Chew on nothing instead

I feel the rain pour
Even more
Let me choke alone in bed

A thought of you
Wonderful
Deserving more than me

Not sure if this is true
Pondering
Maybe no one holds the key

My throat feels tight
Scary
This life and its surprises

He just gave me a fright
Unaware
I am pulling up my disguises

Let me just sleep
Without thought
In my world where words disappear

Sink away into the deep
Swallowing
Those who want to be near