Unexpected Visit II

I didn't expect the man I saw.
I expected
tall,
scary,
powerful.

I saw
weak,
pathetic,
and strange.

He is the man
I cried for
night after night?
The one I wanted
to comfort me
when I cried?
This man
is my father?

I refuse to accept
that I waited
for this man
night after night
expecting him to...
do what?

Tell me he loved me?
Knock down the door
and save me
from myself?

This was the man
I hated to disappoint?
The one I
needed so badly
I would cherish
every single
"I love you"?

This man is not worth
my tears,
my forgiveness.
This man is not deserving
of my love.

And yet,
the tears still fall,
forgiveness has been granted,
my heart still aches.

He'll never know
how much this hurts.
He'll never understand
the pain he's caused.

But he'll
always
be
my
Daddy.