I like the way you used the crossroads in this for a life matter. i wish you would have written more and had a more lifeful/lifeless ending rather than leaving it a little blury. for me it does feel like it hasnt quite ended and that you could possibly make an add on - a part two..

either way i love the flow and most of the words used but im not liking the awkward questions in between - just my opinion.

the structure is great.i cant get how it just rols of the tongue when spoken aloud. nice one. IBE