I hate how I love you so much
Well thats not exactly true
Youve showed me so many things
Made me see things from a new perspective
You got me through tough times, family and friends
You saved me from depression and grief
And I owe you my life for that
But all I can give you is my love
And to me that seems the most amazing thing a person can give
But I hate how much I love you
It makes me able to look past all the lies
The imperfections, the hints, the clues that could have saved me
From a heartache
A heartache thats lasted years
And I highly doubt it will ever end
Thats what I dont understand
One moment you make me smile so hard I cry
The next you make me cry tears of pain
Yet, I still crawl back to your arms
Because its a place I know Im accepted and loved for who I am
But with every tally on my chalkboard of times I went back to you
Are the tallies of when you hurt me, and they out number all of the others
When Im in bliss of your love, something turns around and makes me crash
Crash and burn
Burns my heart, crashes the ashes
And like a phoenix those ashes rise again and love you
Its just a cycle that goes on forever
Getting out of it is impossible
Ive tried so many times; maybe thats why I go back to you
Its just easier to always love you, then to hide and pretend I got over you
But this confusion, delusion, elusion
Has to end
But
I wont let it
If I ever love someone else
It wont be the same way I love you
Because I love you with my whole heart
And if I ever love someone else
They will never receive my whole heart
Because you will always have a part of your own
