The Raging Wind

by BREEawNUHH   Aug 11, 2008


*Actual title: The Raging Wind Is No Match For The Volume Of Your Screams

*I'm not currently feeling any of this. I have no idea where it came from.

My tears fall like the rain falls during an insane thunderstorm.
It is not something that I seem to have any control over whatsoever.
Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I let you do this?
Maybe it's 'cause I feel like I have to be needed by someone.

I stare out my window, and I see swaying trees, and fallen limbs.
The wind is doing the same to the earth what your words did to me.
Things are scattered; paper, empty soda cans, bottles -- everything.
Even my heart -- but it's not outside in the storm -- it's under your shoes.

The wind is blowing right outside my door, and it sounds like your words.
I've felt this painful sting before, but it hurt so much more tonight.
I've let it go before, but why? I could've saved myself from this pain.
The sirens blare, like the engine revved from your car as you left.

So many things went through my head as you were screaming.
I'm reminded of what you said when I look at the bruises, and the scars.
I keep hoping that you won't come back. I'm so sick of this feeling.
But then, my phone rings. And it's your name flashing across the screen..

Briana Coulter
08.11.08

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I can definately relate to this piece as well and to be honest anybody who has been in love should. We often tell ourselves were fed up and we can't take it anymore so were just going to leave, the only problem is we can't bring ourselves to walk away. Love is the greatest worst feeling in the world...haha I think I just found myself a new quote ;) nice job 5/5 GG23

  • 16 years ago

    by Wolf Haines

    I am one for honesty, i enjoyed the poem, full of exciting visions and expressions. However, i feel will be an excellent poem after some drafting. changing a few words, thining a few lines.
    Example would be:
    My tears fall like the rain falls during an insane thunderstorm.
    Two uses of the word fall in one line made it very difficult to flow in my head (probably just my weakness :p).
    Good to see you pushing the boundaries, keep it going, and keep the imagination flowing.

  • 16 years ago

    by HvN

    Acidently clicked the comment button so didn't get to finish comment, My favorite stanza:

    The wind is blowing right outside my door, and it sounds like your words.
    I've felt this painful sting before, but it hurt so much more tonight.
    I've let it go before, but why? I could've saved myself from this pain.
    The sirens blare, like the engine revved from your car as you left.

    So many times i've felt exactly this, but i don't know if i want to or not. Your poem reminded me a lot of bout certain things, thanks though :] going on my favs.

  • 16 years ago

    by HvN

    Every single poem you write is incredible, keep up the good work lol. You're some sort of poem machine haha :]

    great poem, very enjoyable read.

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by CourtneyyContageous

    First Stanza-I don't feel the need for another fall after rain. You've already said your tears are falling.It would sound better if it went something like "my tears fall like the rain". but that's just me.

    Second Stanza-The only correction I could possible make woulb be possible adding a 'the' before swaying? In my opinion it sounds alot better. Other than that I like the sceond stanza very well.

    Third Stanza-This is my personal favorite stanza in this poem. Absolutely nothign wrong with it at all.

    Fourth Stanza-Perfect ending.

    This was a sad piece. But it's like I felt your words dance across my screem

    5/5

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