One thing I didn' t really like - was the transition from 2 short stanzas, to 2 longer stanzas. However, that's just my opinion. You choose what you wanan do with it.

My favorite lines;
"Secrets and lies walking hand in hand, draw her in,
leave her lusting for more
The viscous circle of anger, redemption, temptation
begins to spin again"

Overall, a poem of sadness that's for sure. But, you really brought through emotions here which made the poem excellent. 4.5/5.

Such a sad and dark poem! A great write however, i really enjoyed reading this piece.
=] Great work this poem was packed with broken emotion

"Her mind races
her heart pounds
Conscience screaming
[or is that her malignant demon back for another round]
Tossing and turning
wishing over could-have's and should-have-been's
Wondering if this internal hell
will ever end"

best stanza in the poem. very descriptive. i really feel what shes going through in this.

the whole poem's really good. keep it up. =)

mike

I totally agree with Danny, this piece was so powerful and amazing. it had such a gig impact. your words were so painful and left me feeling absolutely heart broken. it reminded me a lot of my brother i guess, on the 16th it will be 2 months since he died.

he died of an overdose and i guess i will never know weather it was on purpose so im just left with the "should" haves and "could" haves. you really have a lot of talent. your emotions just poured out here. an amazing piece!!!! keep it up,x