Nice poem!! its really good!!

Ohh... Lolz that was hot..You know what? You have a talent in you but i think you have to work on putting your stuff into stanzas by then the flawlessness of your piece will come out and will be noticed..Your choice of words are extremely and the ideas were so strong but the format you choose made it less appealing..Its just my opinion otherwise ethier way both work for me..I think the proper usage of punctuation marks well be a vast of help to improve your poem..All of your poems are all great seriously but i think it would be more easy for the readers to understand and relate..Good Luck..

Someone's touch does wonders :)