You Went To Far;

by Candy   Aug 13, 2008


The words you said, unable to forget
the pain you caused unable to regret
the hurt i have unable to forgive
losing you hard to accept
"friends" you said once upon a time
you wanted more as i declined
you want to take everything i have away so this i say
i trusted you with everything i had
all i wanted was for you to accept
i cant love you more than a friend, I'm sorry but my life depends
you've hurt me more then i can say
you went to far today
how can you do this?
you were my friend
my feelings aren't a play thing as i fight to defend
" i don't want this" i say " well we cant be friends" you say
its all been said and done i hope you know you went to far as i try to accept
goodbye my friend
you went to far today i cant forgive the hurt Ive felt and the trust that has been lost.
you broke me with the words you said.
goodbye

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by divine divinity

    This was difficult to read, was very jumpy, from one thing to the next, the emotions you were trying to express felt suffocated and drowned and it didn't have a rhythm to it. The pace was all over the place which added to the problems. I suggest spacing your poem better, breaking up the sentences and thoughts more clearly, and using words that fit better with each other eg:
    The words you said, I'M unable to forget,
    the pain you caused I'M unable to regret,
    the hurt YOU CAUSED I'M unable to forgive
    losing you IS hard to accept
    "friends" you said once upon a time
    you wanted more AND i declined
    you want to take everything away, SO I SAY THIS;
    i trusted you, with everything i had.

    Sorry if I've sounded mean, your welcome to tell me to shove it. I wasn't trying to offend but give some writing advice.

  • 16 years ago

    by rich sanchez

    Not bad

  • 16 years ago

    by AmY

    SaD

Read All Comments (3)

More Poems By Candy