Comments : We All Fall Down

  • 16 years ago

    by StandStill

    It's never quiet there
    Music screams so soft a tune
    You say you never feel alone
    With the TV watching you

    ^^ This actually..kinda stung to read. Like, it felt personal. That whole, somebody wriggled into my box of things not to be wriggled in...

    The creaking in the hallway
    Oh that's just the wind
    But you grasp the blankets tighter
    Cause you can't sleep again

    ^^ Random fact: i can't sleep without a blanket on top of me. and i think it's because it feels.....safer, somehow.

    The scratching on the window
    Tell yourself it's just a tree
    A shudder down your skin
    Is the monster underneath

    ^^ the last two lines i read a couple different ways, actually. it could be the scratching on the window is the monster...or the shudder underneath your skin..

    Dear Reader, does it scare you?
    The voices in your head
    The sound you hear all around you
    Speaking to you in bed

    ^^ yes.

    The ticking in the living room
    The dripping bathroom sink
    The whispers in your lullabies
    Your thought you never think

    ^^ remember the other night, how i said whispering is creepy...yeah, it is. it's like....awful, really. because it's always the things that get whispered are the things that should go unsaid. for the most part.

    Toss and turn in your sleep
    The whispers sing a sound
    Laughing, ashes ashes
    We all
    Fall
    Down

    ^^ i like how you did these last three lines...

    goodjob, jesse, as always...

  • 16 years ago

    by she

    Heck yes,
    dang LOVE this poem
    oh, such little things like that haunt me everynight, but somtimes it isnt just the tree scratching at the window

    5/5 over 5/5 actually