It's amazing how you feel so little
12 lines swirling in your head
They can bother you so badly
That you feel like you're dead
^^ try adding an extra beat to the last line. if you can't figure it out, lemme know and i'll help you.
They can make you feel unwanted
They can make you feel unloved
They can make you cry yourself to sleep
Just 12 lines you're thinking of
^^ i love the repetition..
All your mixed emotions and your problems
That she swore were all untrue
Explode with fire from this black box
They came back here to burn you
^^ get rid of two beats from the first line. that's why it's off...and then add a beat to the last line..maybe "They came back here to burn with you".
All your mixed emotions and your issues
Have the power to make you feel so small
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
^^ first line's off again....especially when u read it with the whole poem. just take away the "and issues"..
Crash and burn to the ground
Poet, and all
^^ wow, don't we all feel that way..
jesse, i really do like this. you were right and the flow was off in a few places, but the meaning's great...