Breathe in, breathe out,
sitting alone in my room so dark
waiting for a call from a guy called Mark
I wait and wait
until finally i hear
the sound of my phone ringing next to my ear.
At first he sounds happy
but then his voice changes
when i told him my story
He asked me why I do it,
why I want to end my life
I told him the reasons
at first he didn't get it
but then he took in what I had said
before the phone call ended
Mark made me swear I wasn't going to attempt anymore
until after dinner the next night
The following day had come so quick
That afternoon just made me sick,
i didn't want to face him,
i didn't want to go
he picked me up at a quarter past five.
when we got to his place he saw something that made him cry.
My wrist was still bleeding
the cuts so deep
he pulled me in and held me so tight.
a little while later that very same night
he sat me down in one of his chairs
took my hand and closed his eyes.
he started to pray for me
asking God to keep me safe
to help me and to try and make me see,
see that there are people who genuinely care about me.
when he said amen,
i looked up at him,
and saw in his eyes,
fear,
fear of losing a friend.
an hour or two,
maybe a little later
we said our farewells at his front door
I could tell he doesn't want me to hurt like this anymore
