Winter Blossoms

by Holly Emma   Aug 14, 2008


Winter blossoms
Laying in the snow that sparkles from the sun,
Winter nipping at my nose, I sing a song.
The sun hits hard, I look up clear blue skies.
Birds fly, and chirp. I smile as big as I can
winter blossoms in my heart. still laying there I drift into thought. Time to go and times fly by this winter blossom drifts in to the sky.

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  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Winter blossoms
    Laying in the snow that sparkles from the sun,
    Winter nipping at my nose, I sing a song."

    Good imagery, and I like your word choice used here.

    "The sun hits hard, I look up clear blue skies."

    ^"at" should be placed in between "up" and "clear".

    "I smile as big as I can
    winter blossoms in my heart."

    ^a comma is needed after "can".

    "Time to go and times fly by this winter blossom drifts in to the sky."

    That part doesn't make too much sense if you reread it. Maybe change it to this?

    "Time goes and times fly by, this winter blossom drifts in to the sky."

    ^Or something like that, just an opinion.
    Keep writing, always and forever....